Fear

I have not been blogging much because I have been out of commission so to speak. I had posted a while back about having trouble with my left knee while running, as it turns out I have needed to have knee surgery. When I went back for my post op visit, I was told that I should not run any more, so I have been very sad and trying to deal with the loss of some of my goals and personal identity. How can I not run? It’s as much a part of my life as breathing, as brushing my teeth everyday. It’s unimaginable to have this taken away, so I’m trying my best to not give up hope. As I was recovering I started to work on a sculpt of a little girl dressed in a bumble bee costume, I will post pictures soon and put her up on eBay. There is a quote from the founder of Mary Kay cosmetics. She said

“Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway”. Mary Kay Ash

I realize that fear is something that always holds me back I think it is the same for many of us. Fear that we will somehow not make our goals, fear that things I made or do will somehow be unacceptable. We listen to others and let that fear take over instead of listening to our hearts. I don’t know if I will every accomplish all the goals I have set out for myself. But I’m hoping I can at least not let fear hold me back from trying.

Melancholy

There are occasions when you need to take some time and reflect. I guess this is one of those times for me. Starting mid December I was getting some regular knee pain when I was running. I did the usual of icing and stretching etc. But it continued to get worse! I have experience numerous running type injuries during the years that I have run, and I have always recovered and been able to continue with my running. After a visit with the doctor I have been on a no running schedule, much to my disliking, I have had to find alternative ways to get my exercise bug satisfied. He prescribed some anti-inflammatory medication, then after a week of them I could try running on the treadmill again. Last night had been my trial to see if I could run again. I only made it ½ a mile before I was in too much pain to go farther. This was devastating to me! My option now is to have cortisone injection when I see the doctor on Tuesday. I’m really not looking forward to this and wonder if this will be the fix to get me over the inflammation in my knee. I will keep you posted.
I have also been trying to get some doll work in but my doll mojo has also decided to take a break. I have all the ideas floating in my head but as I try to bring them to life I have only been disappointed with the efforts. Wow when it rains it pours! I know that time will heal my knee and eventually the flow of ideas with reach my hands I will sculpt with some success, but until then I will tread water.

Deanna's Birthday Doll

Today we, my mom and siblings, celebrated my sister Deanna's birthday. I'll be nice and not post her age, if she wants that out there she can do it on her own blog. I'm the youngest of 4 girls and one brother stuck in the middle of us. All are very talented individuals, Deanna is a weaver. This was a big birthday for her so I knew that I wanted to create a doll for her. She has in the past commented that she would like one of my fairy dolls, but when I started thinking of what I wanted to make for her birthday I knew I needed to make a goddess doll. Deanna is also an Aquarius, so water needed to be a part of the sculpt.

Deanna is the ultimate profectionist, with an uncanny eye for detail and color combination's. I have learned so much from her and have always appreciated her insight and thoughts about my dolls.

So to my dear sister I hope you enjoy your goddess doll, and realize that every woman deserves to feel like a goddess. Love ya always!