Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Baby Steps

So yesterday I took a baby step without even realizing it until later in the day… Let me go back so that I hope I can tell this so it will make sense. I have blogged before about always making some sort of excuse for my art. I have blogged about not being able to call my doll room a studio, because studios were for professional artists and I’m just a hobbyist. And most of the time when people find out about my doll sculpting I always preface it with “It’s just a hobby” or “I just do it for fun” Both are true statements, but they also seemed to undermine my talent. It’s true that I’m not comfortable thinking I have talent, or to say out loud that I’m artistic. I don’t know why, maybe it sounds pompous to me, but I’m just not comfortable getting compliments or making statements about myself.

Another side not to the story (boy I hope this all makes sense when I’m done) a year or so ago I helped out on a team building activity at work. One of the things we had to do was draw on an apron, things that were important to us personally. Across the bottom I drew my family… then on the top mountains, I really love the mountains here in Utah. In the middle I drew three things… me running… a bike… and an artist’s pallet. I don’t paint, but a lump of clay would have looked weird.

So, back to my original point, I had to wear that apron at work yesterday to help serve up root beer floats for a fund raiser. When I was back to my desk a co-worker asked about my apron, I told him they were drawings of things that were about me. He pointed to the artist’s pallet and asked if I was an artist. I said yes but I’m a sculptor, and explained that I didn’t want to draw a lump of clay my apron. And there you have it!! I said “I’m a sculptor” no excuses or explanations. I was able to just let it be and be happy with the statement. Who knows maybe soon I will be able to say “I’m an artist”! Or “I’m talented” Whoa… hold on there… just baby steps.